The Cum Experiments (WMV)

Listen up, folks! Our experiments here have put us in a good place. We’re making real progress in the world of disease. We’re not here to make immortals, we’re here to help. I hate to bring bad news, but... it’s part of the job sometimes. Sigh. This whole department may fall apart within the next week. I know, I’m disappointed. Unfortunately, we haven’t made enough progress. According to the boring men upstairs, they care more about quick fame than real results. Listen, I have to admit... I found some information. I was snooping around up there and overheard some of the big wigs talking. They were saying something very strange about their own... sperm. Someone mentioned something called “super spunk.” They claimed it was the real cure to all diseases. It shocked me to my core! Well, I couldn’t let that comment go unnoticed. I went straight up to one of those men, and he laughed at me! He told me he’d never give me his sperm. So I came back here to see who will be willing to “extract” it from the men upstairs. Ahhh... I understand. I know we’re all passionate about this project. I know you’re all in a unique position to be asked such a request. I’ll go ahead and volunteer myself. I’m going to offer my body for this experiment. No matter what it takes! From one to another, this experiment will bring us the answers! Super spunk, here I come! For science!

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