Psst, you! I need to tell you something! The woman you’re with? She’s cheating on you! She’s been sneaking around with the hottest guy ever, and it’s been happening the entire time you’ve been together! How are you taking the news? You look kind of sad, but also kind of turned on? Um, why does your boner look so small!? No wonder she’s been cheating the whole time—you’re a fucking cuck!