You’ve really been bothering me lately. Just constantly disappointing me and leaving me unsatisfied. You’re so boring. It’s all your fault. You know I have high expectations and you should have been keeping up with them. Look what you made me do now! I’m fucking our younger divorcee neighbor, and he’s got a much better hairline than you. I can’t believe what you caused. I’m giving you one chance to make things right, but it’s not going to be easy and it won’t be guaranteed. In the meantime, pack my stuff. I’m going to stay next door while you sort your ridiculous self out.